Liking Myself Is My Job (Not Yours)

“It’s not your job to like me - it’s mine.” 

At first glance, this Byron Katie quote might seem like it’s all about self-approval and self-acceptance; however, there’s a deeper layer here that I want to explore with you today.

Cultivating social safety, confidence, fulfillment, happiness, and inner calm isn’t just about liking yourself—although that’s certainly important. It’s more profound: permitting yourself to be who you truly are. 

Being wholly authentic is the key to unlocking true freedom and fulfillment in your life.

Think about it. How often do we shape ourselves to fit the expectations of others, whether it’s family, friends, colleagues, or society? We mold our personalities, opinions, and dreams to avoid discomfort or gain approval. In doing so, we can lose sight of who we are and what we genuinely desire.

This month in my coaching group, we have been exploring the expectations of others throughout our lives and noticing how these expectations have informed who we think we are supposed to be, how we are supposed to look, how we are supposed to behave, and even what and how we are supposed to think.

Giving yourself permission to be you is a radical act of reclaiming your true self from societal expectations and allowing yourself to express your gifts purposefully and meaningfully. It means expressing your thoughts, feelings, and desires without fear of judgment or rejection. It means embracing your uniqueness and recognizing that you don’t need anyone else’s approval to validate your existence.

This year, I’ve been using my voice to stand up for myself in personal relationships in ways I’ve held back for most of my life. I’m working on shifting my internal power dynamic with authority. Who says? Who decides for me? Who gets to tell me how to be or what choices I make? 

I realized that compromise often meant acquiescing to someone else’s way at the expense of my Inner Wisdom. Overriding my gut to “be good,” to keep the peace, or not to ruffle feathers is not a recipe for joy, purpose, or empowerment.

As someone who coaches women’s empowerment, authentic power, and purpose, I started feeling way out of my integrity. What does this lead to? Me not liking me very much. And when that happens, my concern about what the proverbial “you” thinks of me starts to matter more than I would like it to. So, I had to give myself permission to be who I am and bravely live more authentically, even when standing up for myself and being in integrity caused friction with those I would normally have compromised for to keep the peace. It’s a process, and I’m continually working on it.

What I’ve learned is this: when you grant yourself permission to be who you are, you open the door to a life that is authentically yours. You begin to live according to your own rules and align with your deepest values and passions. You become the architect of your life rather than a passive participant in someone else’s script.

So today, I invite you to give yourself permission. Permission to like yourself, yes—but more importantly, permission to be yourself. To show up fully with all your quirks, strengths, and imperfections. To take up space, to speak your truth, and to pursue the life that feels right for you.

Because when you do, you’ll find that the person whose approval you truly need has been there all along. And she’s been waiting for you to show up as your whole, authentic self.

With love and permission to be authentically you,