Taking My Own Medicine

“Get off the beaten path if you want to experience a life with a heartbeat.” Tama Kieves.

According to Brian Sutton Smith, “The opposite of play is not work - the opposite of play is depression.” Therefore the reverse is true: don’t want to feel depressed? Play.

When I evaluate myself on the measuring stick of what play and fun are “supposed to be,” I kind of suck at it. When my husband’s family are all together they play: soccer, volleyball, Pictionary, ping pong, basketball, flag football... Good for them. It is not my typical mode of operation. I have a habit of saying, “I'm not fun.” I wasn’t the type of mom that played with my kids. In fact, put a Barbie in my hand or ask me to engage in some type of imaginary play and I will have a Pavlovian response and instantly need to fall asleep. (Not joking.)

So if you are like me, please give yourself permission to embrace your own kind of fun or play. For me, that looks like reading, or walking around a yummy bookstore, going to a museum, walking through a shopping area, having tea and browsing. I like going to sporting events, hiking in the mountains, going out to eat. I like those paint-your-pottery places, too. I do like to have fun - and I have to remind myself that my “fun” is still fun even if it looks different. Over this past year when “going somewhere for fun” wasn’t possible, my fun looked like walks. I had so much fun noticing cloud formations, ducks in the creek, a new bud on a tree. My walks became a life source of fun and fulfillment.

I have noticed lately that my time feels like it is contracting. Over the past year, there was so much time in my days. Without the morning rush of kids getting ready for school or the afternoon shift to going from life coach to Uber driver, activities manager, and chef (really more like a short-order cook), I felt like I had so much more time in my day to do the things I wanted (and needed) to do. I “had time” for my walks. Have you noticed this contraction of time lately, too? It creates a sense of lack about what choices I can make and what I can and can’t put on my plate. The story limits me from believing that I have time for fun, for the things that fill me up. Blah!

After a year of having to distance from others and not being able to live life the way that we’re accustomed to, now that things are opening back up and getting our lives “back on track” is possible, please, please let’s not make up a story that to feel happy or better we have to start doing all the things the way that we did before. I’ve got news for you, most of us weren’t super full of joy and enthusiasm then, either.

Prior to the pandemic, women came to me because they wanted to feel balanced, calm, peaceful, happy, or purposeful. Now women come to me because they want to feel alive, enthusiastic, free, empowered, and joyful. Read that again - and notice the difference. It is quite significant.

I can promise you that the old way of pushing and striving and doing to check off all the boxes on the to-do list in the limited time that we had wasn’t the mecca for a great life.

This year was a great awakening to what really matters to us: love, connection, fun, being, living life.

If you are noticing an urge to want to get back to all of the doing and errand running and busyness that you had before because then you will feel happy, stop.

Remember what you experienced this past year. Remember all the lessons of stopping to smell the roses, to go for walks and talk to the neighbors, to schedule Zooms with family and friends all over the country or world. Don’t lose this.

As you ramp back up, as your time starts to get more and more filled, block out time for play and rest first! Schedule it in your calendar if you have to. Make plans now for the weeks and months to come that begin with play. If you can’t take that dream vacation this month or this summer, start planning it for a future date.

I’m here for life with a heartbeat. I’m here to be courageous and plan the fun and play first, and then, schedule in the have-to’s. Want to experiment with what’s possible when you take that approach? Let’s play!

And in that spirit of play, I’m so excited to tell you about a free event I’m hosting in June. I would LOVE for you to join me for a mini-online lunchtime workshop on the first three Mondays of the month to recapture your inner goddess, inner rockstar, inner comedian, inner...whatever! I’ve got more details coming soon. If this sounds like a lot of fun, just hit reply and I’ll make sure you’re on the list to get all the details as soon as they drop!

With love and lots of play,