The Circle Game

August is upon us and for me, it comes in with the wind of change. I feel the shift in the air more acutely than in January when we usher in a new year. I have made peace with change, yet August comes in like a test, and I have to ready myself to allow it once again.

I used to say, “I don’t like change,” or “I’m not good with change.” I didn’t, and I wasn’t.

And then, I had kids, and those little things changed so rapidly that my perfectionist, over-achiever self couldn’t keep up with mastering anything because as soon as I felt on top of what I was doing, boom, change. I remember being so uncomfortable with the constant changing, the consistent reminder that I had no clue what I was doing, that it truly took me away from being present to the wonder and joy of having infants and toddlers. (Hurts my heart to write that.)

When my kids were five and two, we were relocated to Colorado. The change was so monumental, so not my plan, so disorienting, I fought it internally for months and months and if I’m being honest, years. That monumental change was my wake-up call to myself in so many ways, on so many levels. I finally accepted that change is a part of life, a daily occurrence. And yet, here I am, knowing that once again, a big one is moving through.

In Colorado, August is back-to-school time. My children are starting their junior and freshman years of high school. Our days of summer flow, morning ease, no rush to evening activities, family time, vacations, no homework stress are coming to an end in a couple of weeks. We are shifting gears to think about school clothes, packing lunches, school and activities schedules. And for me, I’m acknowledging that my son only has two more years and my daughter four until they go off to their next adventures.

Change still isn’t easy for me, and yet, it’s life. I don’t want to miss this. I want to be present and feel it and acknowledge all of it. These years of raising my children, loving them, watching them grow and become who they are are the most precious years of my entire life.

Today, I’m thinking of the mamas whose kids are already grown, living their lives on their own. I’m thinking of mamas whose children will leave for college this month. I’m thinking of mamas whose kids will go back to school in all the grades. This month (or next if you live where kids go back in September) is a big month of change. I keep hearing Joni Mitchell singing, “The Circle Game”, a song that was a part of my childhood as we sang this in music class for years and years. A beautiful reminder that “the seasons go round and round, and we are captive on a carousel of time. We can’t go back. We can only look behind from where we came and go round and round and round in the circle game.”

Would you like a better way to manage the cycles of change and the round and round nature of life? I’m hosting the next round of Stop Waiting, Start Thriving on August 16. For three weeks, we’ll meet for one hour each Monday. Together, we’ll get you to Start Thriving in your life - no matter what circles and cycles of change come your way.

This workshop series only requires that you show up for yourself and put real intention into your work there (in other words, there’s no financial investment). I promise, it’ll be a great experience, and I’ll be giving away some fun prizes for those who participate!

Sign up here to reserve your free spot!

Grateful to be on the carousel with you,

The Circle Game
Joni Mitchell
https://youtu.be/5NEkJhBHh54

Yesterday a child came out to wander
Caught a dragonfly inside a jar
Fearful when the sky was full of thunder
And tearful at the falling of a star

And the seasons, they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We're captive on the carousel of time
We can't return, we can only look
Behind, from where we came
And go round and round and round, in the circle game

Then the child moved ten times round the seasons
Skated over ten clear frozen streams
Words like, "When you're older" must appease him
And promises of someday make his dreams

And the seasons, they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We're captive on the carousel of time
We can't return, we can only look
Behind, from where we came
And go round and round and round, in the circle game

16 springs and 16 summers gone now
Cartwheels turn to car wheels through the town
And they tell him, "Take your time, it won't be long now
'Til you drag your feet to slow the circles down"

And the seasons, they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We're captive on the carousel of time
We can't return, we can only look
Behind, from where we came
And go round and round and round, in the circle game

So the years spin by and now the boy is 20
Though his dreams have lost some grandeur coming true
There'll be new dreams, maybe better dreams and plenty
Before the last revolving year is through

And the seasons, they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We're captive on the carousel of time
We can't return, we can only look
Behind, from where we came
And go round and round and round, in the circle game
And go round and round and round, in the circle game